Its my life

tired

2008-01-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

tired tired holiday
alot thing to do n handle
haiz
alot of thing oso happen too that y i nvr blog so often le
but if u are reading this
ty alot for bothering to read my blog

2dae
2th of jan me nvr slp at all
most jialat event of the whole holiday
24hr nvr slp le
haiz
2molo gtg study grp finish project
muz go coz dun wanna burden the whole class

aniwa,sthm nice happen todae too
harjit n me went see movie
ALL HAIL WILL SMITH!!!!
the show I AM LEGEND bloody hell nice
his acting is like WTF!!!!
damn~!
i dun think u can find anione else tat can adapt to so mani diff roles in acting
frm Wlid wlid west de cowboy heee harrr~
to pursuit of happiness de all rnded dady
to nw I am LEgend de onli man alive
DAMN!!!! he is gd,dun beliebe?GO see for urself~

haiz me n my gf de things i thoguht settle le
but nw problems etc are starting to float back up again
my torlerence is going thin
my heart can no longer feel as much
n my eyes cannot cry anithink but tears
prepare for the worse ba.....

*tired
body is nth the worse part
tired
of life is oso nth
tired
mentally n emotionally
is sthm which killed me...
*

hAPPY~

2007-12-09T02:27:00.000+08:00

woooooot~
long long nvr block le loL~
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY~WEEKEND~
woooooooooooooooooo~
lol

ok~
in tis week total gt 3 pple treat me to movies
lol~
so happy
ok heres the review

1.
HITMAN!
knn action packed lar~
lol shoot shoot here
piang piang there~
lol the male actor damn nice cool n handsome
juz that he walk like a robot without his hand swinging
but hor~
the female actor to me is....
WHEET WHEET~
lol then she almost naked throughout the wholeshow if nt will be in skimpy dressing lar reavealing here n there lol~
love that tatoo on her face~
*ps.her chest and buut fail for my standard LOL but she is chio de^^*

2.
Golden compass
hmmm dun reali like this show though
cute n funny at times but kinda slw moving etc
alot of computer graphic but ok lar haha
will have part 2 i think

3.
30 DAYS OF NITES!!!!!!!!!
KNN this show IS BLOODY N VIOLENCE DE LOR~
but is DAMN NICE TOO
i mean nt the bllood etc lar
but the way they plot the thing n the timing they have
will caTCH u off guard frequent n do things u dun expected
LOL
NICE SHOW~!*at least to me n harjit*
maybe a part 2!!!
hehehehe

ok now for the YA ZHOU HAO XI!!!
went out to celebrate JK n VERONA de BDAE~!
weeee had so much fun n busy playin n entertaining all pple
lol
ate hong kong cafe
ended up LAO SAI haha
think coz the beef nvr cook well enough
kinda raw lol~n i still thought was suppose to be like tat end up making pple kip wait for me as i go "bomb OSAMA"~
lol~
aniway jane was damn high lar i duno why but think she can fight with me le
lol nxt time we can open a clan le hor JANE
lol~
we TOOK alot of PICTRUES!
damn~!
1st time took so mani pictures especially with pple asking me to take with them
*sobsob so honoured n happy^^*
n that actually when on the way home was TIRED!
OMG!!!!
hahah SO HAPPY!
lets HAVOC MORE NEXT TIME K!
lol:P
*jY...~POSE!!!.....LAMBO~! haha*

okok me going slp le lol tired~
2molo going find my gf^^
happy happy things going a bit better after salvaging
tk kr all!!!

*PS*
PPLE SEND ME THE PICS WE TOOK BY EMAIL OK!!!!
OR MSN I WANNA KIP THEM IN OUR FOLDER LOL~
i wanana upload into frendster too hehe ty~

...

2007-11-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

hmmm
ok late nite to blog again
yesterdae quarrel wif my gf
dao we almost break up...
yet i put dwn my pride n went back to explain all n hope to savage the relationship

we tok reali long
we discuess reali long
while cryin non stop
haiz

she say she wanan try n change
n she is determine
i duno if she can make it
but nt believeing she can i feel bad
so i believe it 1 last time

she say i am impt etc
n i hope she prove it to me this time
but most impt is if she cannot change etc it is gona harm her for the rest of her life,leaving her with regret etc...
most impt she wun be able to survive...

today went to sch reali earli
end up not much pple was arnd in fact teacher only come after half an hour lata
i tried to be happy n as normal as i can infront of my frends
not becoz i wanna fake juz that i feel dun becoz of me n affect dao others
did quite a gd job covering up but i kept eating
to stuff myself...
haiz...

we juz agreeed upon a "cool dwn" for 2 weeks
to me a cool dwn is = to break up cause like no diff de
haiz
1 head better then 2 but she wanna do it alone...
so i am ok with it...
i am going to cut all contacts with pple arnd for this 2 week
cannot stop crying...reali cannot...haiz
i am afraid of the result or what might happen in between
but i knw i muz let her do tis..
if our relationship etc cannot make it through tis 2 week
it juz means what we fought for n did meant nth...

duno hw long mre i can tahan but i still believe 1 last time
n i am going to give it my 1 last shot
i believe that we can make it
but if we fail...
at least....
i have no regret upon...

...

2007-11-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

okok
late nite again
i am typing my blog
hmmm

emo again ba lol
or maybe too long nvr blog
or even maybe becoz i cannot find some1 to tok

haiz juz went to my gf de frendster read n look arnd
same as owaes...
juz that she change her profile thing
n some names for some pics

now a days she tell me she veri tired lar
veri fark up
veri sian
alot of thing...
i duno what to do le
coz i ask my own consicous that i did everything i can to help her
in fact all her problem i take frm her n become mind while she 1 duno she push all responsibilities away...
haiz...

some1 tell me what to do?

jiu wo ma??

2007-11-18T16:58:00.000+08:00

ok
nw i am kinda...
emo...
in fact crying...hai

reali duno wat to do
so nt sure...so nt definate...so nt secure...

who says guy dun nid to feel secure?
secure comes frm trust
if u dun let me have ani trust in you hw am i suppose to feel secure??

i reali duno wat else to do...
wat else to think...
wat else to express
wat else to savage tis relationship

all u knw is a word "duno"
and u push everything away
u run away frm all responsiblities
u leave me alone to face all the problems and responsibilites

forever is other pple
you keep all promises to others
you will be there for them when they nid u
their problem u forever wun duno
you forever wun leave ur so call best frend n gan siblings alone
u think for them but nt for u nt for me n nt for our future
and i am the 1 owaes end up that have to clean up ur shit

y
ans me
y
dun ans me
duno
dun ans me

does my tears still mean sthm to you?
does my pain make u feel sad too?
what i do then u will start to do what i need you to do?
what should i do???

it does nt matter coz i always end up in a quarrel?
always end up 1 of us walk off?
even when we came up with a agreement
after awhile mre you will break everything again
n everything restart over n over n over again...

i knw u are my other half
i knw cleaning up ur shit
bearing with you is sthm that i muz do n learn to do
share your burdens n woes when u duno
and let you have your freedom

but you are getting too li bu
everything stuff to me think n settle while u juz run away
making the same mistake again n again n hurting me like the cycle of day and nite
make all the mistake for me to think of a solution while u dun follow neither of it
worse of all u make me lose total trust in you
all u do is u duno hw to make me trust u n say i dun trust you etc
and keep doing things for me to lose my trust in you..?

i told u what to do le
i told u hw to help me
i told u i need you
i told u i love you...

but y once and again you leave me behind with all the troubles and woes
together with the new n old pain
scaring my heart n soul again n again

i am afraid that i might drift off
i am afraid that we might lose each other
i am afradi that 1 day i will nt be able to bear the pain again and leave
i am afraid that the future which i am so sure of will be gone
i am afraid of the day when i lose you,i lose everything,i lose myself together in it.....

*wo bu shi bu pei
yin wei wo zhi dao wo zai nu li de wan jiu
lian ai da ren ye hui you si hun luo bo de shi hou
tian ren ye you han lei de yi tian*

ni yao jiu wo ma?
ni hui jiu wo ma?
ni ken jiu wo ma?

hmm

2007-11-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

okok self declare holiday for thurseday n friday lol
mean me haiz
but hor i veri touch lar

WINNIE VERONA JASS & MELVIN~
ty your so much...
my com got so mani problem and i never really help out in the project yet your still willing to let me share the glory...
reali ty alot...
i promise the nxt time round i am going to chiong wif your ok??

*LoVe YoUr LOttS*
(including the rest of our gang of course*wink wink* especially JK LOL~)
and RX u better dun copy me keep dun go school wor hOR!
lol

hmmm last wednesday & thursday was my gf de bdae n our aninversary lol
NO $ cannot celebrate
so i thought of some ways to surprise her etc in a NO NID $ way lor
simple de lar not fancyful
coz we have been quarreling alot then that nite i juz taut under her hse n wait till 12 am,
bought 2 piece of her fav cake with my remaining ASSESTS in my wallet n b the 1st 1 to celebrate with her
tats all lol kinda lame la i find haiz coz she dun have much effect leh
maybe becoz we have been quarrreling be4 tat day and that she is sick ba
*sadded*

hmm
1 happy thing is that our class de debate team win n went into semi final le woooo~lol
so happy...that my points which i gave jy n teacher in the later part helped~lol
reali wanna help them mre lol coz actually i like debating
just that my english not gd so i rather give it up...
but i hope my points can be shared with them n aid them win~
lol say till me like so big like tat sorI~
aniway PPLE JIA YOU~!!!!

*me found out dog + rabbit still can bark de neh lol*

kk thats all for todade~
sayo

*dun try to take back what you say when u say it
juz shhhhh~ and watch it*

COPYING~!

2007-11-13T20:31:00.000+08:00

ok~

i nw blogging some things

lol

feel like follow law...

SHOOT HERE SHOOT THERE

lets start MR SMARTYPANT(s)

Ok,this is what 1 of the siao a say de...

*this idiot said thing never used brain as in think before spilt out .. I REALLY NEVER OPEN BOOK FUCKER .. a person who never open book and get shoot by this idioit u know how is the feeling ma .. pls hor .. next time wake up your idea before u speak idiot .*

hmm,if u REALLY NEVER OPEN BOOK then for what bark so much leh?i oso nvr say YOU OPEN BOOK!!!~I gt SAY MEH I RELLY NEVER SAY YOU OPEN BOOK ******..you knw a person if nvr say sthm n u say he/she say sthm u knw hw tat person feel?..plz hor...wake up ur idea le then come wake my idea k??

*of course we and i know how well i did or we did .. hey fucker .. nth to said next time dun type so long pls .. save your energy for other used than shooting ppl ..*

hmmm pple,do u think this line is kinda nth to say but wanna DIE DIE say sthm?*shrugs*so i kinda messy, now is this what we say nth say n wasting energy to shoot some1?? *shrugs*

*like wat u said u dun bother so much .. wat for type so much .. water and fire cant match for sure .. but u fire we are water = u lose ? LOL .. making me laugh .*

LOL who say fire lose water? your family nvr cook water de ar?then hw u get your drinkable water frm?rain??tolietbowl??....OH i forget gt tis thing call ICE MOUTAIN~ lol...

*PS* DID u forget when water meet water become vapour?u gt learn science?i think i am laughing le lol,whose making me laugh???think is you ba~lol

*idiot u know smile is a reply = hello ? u got take retail course u dunno omg .. faint waste your whole year .. pls lah must he go infront of jy said hello jy .. than it sound friendly ?*

lol i knw a smile is a reply of hello,but HELLO~this is nt retailing you knw?JY is not selling his smile you knw???u knw MAI SIAO???he is nt buying thing frm JY u knw??NT RETAILING leh~you sure u knw what is the meaning of retailing?lol

aniway,do you knw that a smile n walk off is oso = FU YAN??

lol...dun need go to someone infront to say hello but i think everyone's mother also should have teach their child to reply when some1 is talking to you??

*haha .. dun make me laugh at 11 pm + when u all treat us the same from day 1 or week 1 .. not at all .. kick mei mei and benny out .. pls lah .. who next faster said at least we can save tat person ..*

LOL did we kick them out or the group anot??did we ask them to get lost???it seems like they left on their own de wor~and that hor we treat your the same from day 1 or week 1???what talkin you sia~ i dun understand lor lol.....

but i knw that from the 1st week i (we) nvr ever trreat your in a diff manner lor,in fact i am close n out-going with everyone ty~ try to use ur brain??it seems like some pple ownself think they dun belong with us and went 1 side to form their own group then y nw barking saying pple treat them in a diff manner?

You wanna save some1??i dun even think you can save urself le still wanna save some1?lol

*haha .. ai mai ai mai .. but problem is did we ever talk to u all ?*

you knw how to say this hor??so nw is who treating who in a diff manner?lol...

*rotten apple can become diamond pls .. is u all want to study or not .. not said we are study hard k .. and dun ever aim 4 pointer eat book etc .. pls hard work always pay off .. see if u want to give up all your hobby etc to work hard or not hor ..*

and dun ever aim 4 pointer eat book etc--- this thing i dun remember sayin wor so dun stuff thing into my mouth plz...

frankly sayin i duno why u are typing tis,again showing you nth to type n wanna type...dotz...i am using as a metaphor,DO U UNDERSTAND????

dotz~

*RESPECT .. dun infront of me talk about RESPECT .. for me i only believe if u RESPECT ppl they will return back to u .. u dun have to show that out and no need to ask for it .. seems tat u want some RESPECT .. haha .. do it first .. before u said ..*

lol icic yuan lai dun nid tok respect infront of you...ohhh~ and that dun nid to show nor ask for it wor??LOL

so you wan me to show respect then you will give back respect??then y not the other way round u show me respect then i show u mine??LOL

THen HOR wat izzit that i muz do get what u assume tat i wan,respect, LEH???

i nt showing it nor asking for RESPECT leh???

Hw ar????

*two head snake .. who ? u ? your group ? haha .. go think who start all this first .. dun said duo yi shi bu ru shao yi shi ..humm if u all want fight for result .. let see final year gpa .. will u all did better than us .. dun just said said and go .. prove me wrong ..pls lah .. dun assume everything .. u got attend BCM lesson ma .. teacher said .. cool down before reply .. did u idiot ? no right ? haha too bad .. write out mean out le .. me is just reply wat u said .. so take down all my pointer idiot ..*

lol i did not assume everything wor,and that hor i nvr say you nor ani1 2 headed snake wor,did u read carefully?lol~

and hor who started this thing??me juz bloogging my stuff on my blog u come my blog read n u go ur blog n say stuff abt wat my blog blog u still dare say is i make de trouble??i blog for my FRENDS to see leh,if u dun like or u dun CONSIDER me as a frend why come n read n give comment????lol

LASTLY,i did nt attend BCM as often as some1 assume he does but~!it seems like i am am cool when i am REPLYING an typing,coz did you see anithink as vulgar as in ur blog??go count hw mani IDIOT and FARKER ETC you have in your blog...*(I HIGHLIGHTED IN PURPLE)***(i think arnd 7 MR BCM COOLDWNpants)

HAVE U BEEN TO BCM LESSON LIKE U SAID U DID??

oooo~maybe these pointers are for u??LOL

my result gd bad,is nt up to you as u say,is juz for myself,lol so for wat i muz prove to u???siao ar???lol

ok i blog FINISH LE~

BYE~

*feel free to comment,but i will be commenting back LOL,n plz,if u dun like or wanna read,juz go off?lol*

hmmm

2007-11-12T19:56:00.000+08:00

hmmm
okok
finally i am back to blog a new post after so long
lol

have been going back to school since last week
onli tat last fridae i self declare holiday for tat day again~
lol but comin~juz after public holiday and is a friday yea~
lol:P

hmm today went back to school
classmate in class give me a feeling that they are rather angry with me lol
maybe is becoz of me have nt been going to school for sometime then the project they cannot do etc
SORRY~!!!
to verona jass melvin n winnie~
me will start to go back to sch le ok?
so dun angry wif me le lar~! (if your are reali angry)
the most nxt time buy ur all DA JI BAO OK~!
wahahah~*wink wink*

hmmmm todae they tok abt RX nt going to sch
and they say is becoz i teach her bad de=(
lol come to think of it i kinda agree slightly lar~
becoz hor we are a group de ma learn frm each other lol~
then maybe juz nice she learn this bad stuff frm me???
lol so RX if u are reading this u better go sch le wor~
dun later they all come whack u then u DIE wif me i tell u lol~

hmmm
then juz nw they gt back their progress test paper 1
lol i nvr sit for it i only sat for the paper two therefore i dun have
but benny gt the highest
in fact their whole group gt 40+ upon 50
lol
i dun wanna comment much on this line tat teacher say
"they nvr open the textbk"
they themself knw if they did a not or even discuss lol
knwing that they did "so well" i gt nth to say
but maybe juz inginte the flame in me to surpass them ba lol~
but i dun reali bother abt them too coz is like they are 1 group and we are 1 group
they make me feel is like
WATER AND FIRE CANNOT CO-EXISTS

juz nw JY call "teck Ko" and say harlo but he juz walk off with no reply but juz a smile
i duno if i gt see right anot but if i am quite certain that i saw rite,aniway
wtf is this sia though we a class?
We maybe (i confirm is) nt "gam" with benny
but we treat the rest of ur the same wat is there a need to behave like tis anot??
sthm tok to your, your oso so FARK UP like tat
dun reply like that if nt reply like ai mai ai mai like tat
LIKE Your is the STUDY type WHILE we are the ROTTEN APPLE type
i duno if your are behaving this way but that is hw i feel n i am going to try and confirm it
if i confirm it then i not going to give face le
i nt threathing but i juz wan ur knw pple nvr de zui u u better zi dong
give each other respect please ty.

DUO YI SHI BU RU SHAO YI SHI
dun be a TWO FACE can??
*(edited away the 2 head snake coz i find out nt the rite wrd~2 face better wrd)

*ABOVE ALL MY PERSONAL VIEW TY~

hmmm

2007-10-31T12:35:00.000+08:00

woot~
kkk nw is 12.40pm
lol
i haven go sch~
again~
damn lazy to go this type of afternoon lesson sia
haiz~

should i go or should i nt?
i am kinda confuse
i knw what is a must n need to do
but i juz kip avoiding it
maybe becoz i cannot stand the temptation of other things

haiz
reali need to wake up my idea le sia
if nt tis semester reali gona die sia
althought 4 of my sub 1 is dun go oso can pass de
1 is project which i can do juz at hm
1 i nvr go but i still can do
1 is juz nid memorize memorize memorize
but i need tat attandacne sia
if nt they bar me frm exam then busted le lor~

haiz

aniway now a days veri little time wif my dar le
she wrking till 6,
sthm she gt to stay n wrk OT without extra $ sia~
fark lor like tis torture my little hunie bunie~
they better realise my dar is a gd wrker and add her salary as they promsie sia
haiz
then somemre me nw start to wrk le oso,
then gt training 1,3,5
reali nt much of a time for us together

hope i figure out hw to balance everything soon~

slack

2007-10-29T13:35:00.000+08:00

okok
long long long long lo0ng loonnNngg
time nvr blog le
lol
coz have been reali lazy to
haiz

i am slacking slacking n slacking
i reali duno what i am doing nw sia
haiz
frankly saying i lost 1 of my biggest motivation to kip me wrking hard
reali veri sad
everytime i see other pple's i drop tears n cry
my heart feel like gt 1 hole
haiz

almost 1 mth i nvr tok wif my mum since the quarrel le
feel kinda werid n i knw that actually i nid to tok to her de
but juz tat we both too sturborn to give in

haiz i knw i reali nid to chiong le
but then i juz cannot bring myself to
you xin mei li ar

haiz
but enough of resting n slacking n finding excuses le
(even though is true)
i muz wrk hard le
i am aiming for a FOUR n DAMN i muz wrk hard
SCREW ME AWAKE

RIBBIT

aniway at least there is some gd news to make me think on the bright side
lol

1st,
thanks to cassandra i get a job
althought nt earing alot the most 300 a mth
but like she n chin ying say
"better then nth~"
lol agree~
at least when i go sell my "ass" *lol* gt money to eat in case
wahahaha

2nd,
GOMBAK CSC REVOLUTION~
lol
all the lao jiao past off le
nw is up to us~
woot
lol but i think hor they find us back hor gt 2 reason
1st is coz they cannot find other better player then us then they boasted abt
2nd coz we are playing better n better
i nt saying we veri gd or wat la but we are getting better the last time ba
lol,getting better without them training us etc LMAO~

haiz
me nw start to wrk le
lesser time for evon,schwrk and my fav basketball
but i knw i gt to balance everything
i muz i gt to i nid to

*Nan Ren De Yan Lei Xiang Xue Yi Yang Zhen Gui
Bu Neng Shui Bian Luan Liu,
Nu Ren De Yan Lei Xiang Tian Shang De Xing Xing Yi Yang Bao Gui
Diao Le Yi Ke Mei Li De Ye Kong Zai Ye Bu Mei Le,
Ru Guo Shou Wo Liu Xue Ni Hui Bang Wo Bao Zha
Hui Yong Ni De Ai Lai Bang Wo Zhi Liao,
Na Wo Hui Ba Tian Shan Shou Diao Xia Lai De Xing Xing Mei Li Jian Qi
Hao Hao Zhen Xi, Hao Hao De Zhen Chang, Hao Hao De Liu Zai Wo De Xin Li

what to do

2007-10-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

haiz
ok 1st of all
1 day after interview le
they haven call
pray hard they call me ASAP
coz i reali need the job and the money

2nd
todae play basketball kena "CHOP" ar
haiz
duno why we play until like shit like that
wrong pass
wrong timing
no attidude
NTH
was juz like a mitten ball in the paws of the tigers
sway and turn as they wish we will
damn

3rd
i duno why
but now a days i get beri pissed of by guys that contact my gf
i knw it sounds reali posseive but i juz cannot remove the thought of her that time lieing to me and almost went astray...
haiz

the way she tok wif other guys
to my voice is so provoking
she look so happy
she look sound as if they are veri close
she sound like the way she tok to me
i beri xin ku ar

i am tryin nt to but the thought of her going astray juz burn my heart
i thought that by not contacting other gers i will be able to stop her frm doing it vice versa
but i guess the case is that it dun wrk at all

haiz
i kip noticing gt diff guy n unknwn no. appear so i tell myself dun think so much
but end up mostly are guy
then when i ask her where all this no. come frm she owaes tell me
"ah,they my primary schmate la"
"ah,they my secondary sch mate la"
"ah they my gan this and that la"
haiz i duno izzit true anot
but i thing i knw for sure is that even it is true
why would they all flood back 1 shot to find u?
n try to get close to u?
call u everydae etc?

i reali duno what to do
everytime i ask her what she wan
but she tell me nt
but end up she wan this and that
i reali duno what to do le haiz

i reali wanna knw what you wan me to do then you will be happy
i wanna knw what can i do and i will stop feeling this way
i wanna knw how long must i cry
i wanna knw how long be4 you will listen to me n believe me

i goin mad soon le
Joon Kock,if you are reading this
this is 1 of the reason why i dun wan
haiz

to her is nth
is always what she thinks
until it happen le
until we quarrel le
then she will knw what i say is true

guys read this

2007-10-04T14:09:00.000+08:00

woot
todae i am early lol
going JP to interview for toyrus
wahahaha
then me going to be tong shi wif our frend CAI JING YE~
lol

aniway here is sthm i wanna share
pple ask me alot abt gers
ask me hw i handle them etc
and i tell them that all gers are the same
juz that guys make it too complicated
here is a list of things my frend post online in FRIENDSTER
plz read it coz in my views are ture^^

Girl Language

If i dont call you[ Its because im waiting for you tocall me ]

When i walk away from you mad[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i start cussing at you[ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]

When im quiet[ Ask me whats wrong ]

When i ignore you[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying[ Hold me and tell me everything willbe alright ]

When you see me walking[ Sneak up and hug my waist frombehind ]

When im scared[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i tease you[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i like you[ I really do more than you couldunderstand ]

When i grab at your hands[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i bump into you[ bump into me back and make me laugh ]

When i tell you a secret[ keep it safe and untold ]

When i look at you in your eyes[ dont look away until i do ]

When i miss you[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart[ the pain never really goes away ]

When i say its over[ i still want you to be mine ]

When i repost this bulletin[ i want you to read it ]

you may think
"reali meh?lata kena slap hw or wat hw?"
but the fact is if ur already knw ur like or luv each other
this is the proper way to treat gers

i maybe a guy
but i stand up only for reasons

gers are simple so please dun make it so complicated
Give them what they want at the right time right place with the right attidude
be understanding and caring all times
playful when they are
be serious at time to protect them

its simple

unlike we guys
frankly saying we just want to get what we fantasy of
that is what i think la lol
GAY ME
earli in the afternoon talk cock liao lol
gtg

2nite see your~

cold nite

2007-10-03T04:05:00.000+08:00

woot
is a cold nite
again i blogging at this type of damn timing

juz came frm consoling n counseling my gf de ex classmate n frend
heard what she say n feel kinda..."WTH" lor
to summerize she got a chi NA bf who is Dominatting n "Big Man Idea"
Demanding yet not willing to give back in
argue with brute BULL SHIT and nt reasoning
No Respect for ladys and a relationship

n once again i find out sthm that i have been trying to understand
i ask her
why u dun wan to break wif him?
this type guy no use de
she told me 1 thing
"i duno i is need him,or i wan him"
this line is sthm that i have been thinkning and asking my gf n couples arnd

"is ur other half someone u need or someone u want?"

is the other half someone that u need to keep ur life moving?
someone that is needed to fill up the puzzle in ur life?
someone that u need to breath for?

or...

is the other half someone u owaes wanted?
someone that you hope wanted that it will be?
that he/she possess something that you wanted?

this sound confusing n both term seems similar
but think of it carefully
and...
can u answer this question??

long time

2007-09-26T19:55:00.000+08:00

kinda sad
sorry pple
so long nvr blog le...
or maybe there iss'nt ani pple reading too
*shrugs*
watever...

haiz...
kinda empty rite nw...
wind can pass through me n i feel butterflies flappin in me
haiz..

juz nw a frend of mine in irc say she needed a kiss...
so i asked her...

"a kiss which breathe without you...
yet take your breathe away

a kiss that lays on the surface...
yet reach so deep within you

a kiss which seems that is going to end...
yet feels so lasting...

is this wat you wan?"

she said she would kiss me
*shurgs*
werid...

haiz...dun bother much abt that part...
juz sthm i thought i can share...

coz i am kinda empty right now...

aniway my frend asked to go have sex
might solve the problem
but i say
even if i really do
i dun wan to have sex
i wanna make love
that is totally so different
dun you agree?

haiz...
sch going to start soon le
reali going to chiong le
not going to be the old me like that diao er lang dang le
me wanna score a 4pt so that i can go poly
i dun wanna waste another 2 yr le

scared that my frend mite find me different or dao or wat so ever
haiz
coz i wun jk so much n speak so much le
so sori n dun mistake hao ma?
^^
i love you guys~
muack...

*whats the point when u get what you want?
after you get what you want
are you going to want sthm mre
or u going to want back yourself even mre?*

3rd time

2007-09-10T04:27:00.000+08:00

4.27am

i am still awake...
for a reason which juz make me cannot slp
make me tis few day nerve reck
make me eat alot
make me stress and worry...
haiz....

because...
I HAVEN STUDY ENOUGH FOR MY BFD~
OMFG!!!!
haha u thought wat izzit?
lol~
Jane say "Ling Shi Bao Fou Jiao Oso Gt Use De"
lol but seems like i am the only 1 awake nw lol~
even chun leng go orh orh le~
haha

haiz...
nt ling shi la
juz tat i reali wanna get a A for BFD
coz role-play gt A
but the 2nd paper onli juz past
SO WASTED LOR~
haiz then my other 2 sub the most la is 1 B & 1 C nia
tat y i wan BFD A, which i must score 43/50
haiz
if reali can hor then i gt the whole set ABC le lol~
LAME~

me 2nite whole nite not slping
mummy say me sure cannot pass de
sure fail
coz nt enough n ling shi bao fou jiao
but the mre she say cannot the mre i wanna make it
i wanna prove her wrng
n most impt
for my gf EVON~
hehe

kk me go study le~
yawn
after exam sure slp dao siao~
lol

fly aeroplane~

2007-09-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

hoho
todae pong sch
haha
suppose to mit my irc frend de
but me gana "fly aeroplane"
sadded lor wear dao so nice le hmph

so decided nt go hm then go aracde
play dao half way see dao winnie haha
then went dwn n guess what
THEY WHOLE GANG IS THERE
hahaha

do i look werid 2dae?
coz alot pple stare...
hmmm muz b becoz hair long le pple think me beng diao ba haha

then after that we walk arnd etc
n help JY as i promsied
then they went lot 1

n i stayed to wait for my gf
haha
when she mit dao me she scold me sia
sobsob
say y my nei nei so big~
sadded=X

then we bought KFC went hm mum mum lor
everything was normal..till 1 guy msg her
then i saw wat other msgs they send
and the WAR started

the guy msg wat "u love me ar?"
then my gf reply " if so easy love nt love le lor...I like you"
then my gf morning dun msg me coz say wat me slpin,
but went to msg him even though he slpin
n still call him wat pork chop

*ARrgggGGh~
then she went see doc dun ask me along ask tat guy
she say she thought me at sch,tat y nvr ask me
then hw she knw tat guy free?

wth lor
then i ask her then she dun wan reply
then she say she dun like the guy etc
then me say let me call tat guy la then she dun allow
then i ask u choose wan him or me?
wan me let me call wan him then u go
then she drag on n nvr gif an ans

is like wtf lor
i ur bf leh u cannot even gif me a straight ans?
u still nid time think?still pple guide u?
OMG
n if u reali no problem then y dun let me call him nor explain urself?

haiz then i left her at hm n went out alone
for arnd 45min
then sthm werid happen sia
kip hearing gt pple calling my name even thought i on headset
then kip hearing pple cryin lar~
Screaming lar~
shouting lar~
scary~

aniway then me went hm lor
she still arnd
we tok tok tok
she explain the whole thing tis time rnd
n i chose to believe her again
believe her like i owaes do when tis type thing happen
haiz...
i am afraid is a wrng step
but i love her too much to the extend i dun mind risking it for last time
haiz

when me sending her hm
she tell me she saw another me juz nw when i left n while she tried to find me
she frm 11 floor see dwn saw me (which is nt me)
she scream my name then the head bend 180 degree backwards n look at her
in GREEN~! with a black teeth smile...
dun nid say u knw wat happen le la
haiz

me wan slp le...damn late..
nite all~

*i juz wanna knw where i stand in your heart
althought i am a guy i nid assurance too
althought i forgive you...
i duno hw long can i kip this up...
i still dun understand y u ponder when i ask
"u wan me...or u wan ur him.."

zai ni yan li...
wo de ai
dao di..
JI FEN...

family day~

2007-09-02T03:50:00.000+08:00

hmm
u knw sthm??
i find that blogging is starting to get bored u knw??
i mean..
in my life there aren't reali much of a happening
and when there is..
i dun have anithing to capture the moment n share..
like photos~
haha

hmm...
maybe i should go buy 1 digital camera or sthm~
this way i can capture etc~
then can reaslie my dream of a photo album~
frm jinye de O.O to Jane de Lao Da Chiang~
till jun kock koping candy and my Zhong Guo Chiang ar~
zhen bang ar~yi ding nen GAN DONG TIAN ar~!!

haha but think of think i feel digital camrea better
...
better nt..if nt Jingye sure say i his fen si~
hahaha..

aniway today 1st time in a long time..
me n my whole family n my gf went out shopping TOGEHTER~
VERI HAPPY WOHOHOHOOOOOO~
haha
then that 3 zhar bo hor shop make up la bras la all ger stuff lor~
then me n my dad n my didi stay outside rot lor~
saddening~
then we went to a shop wan try clothes
then the sales girl kip smiling at me then say wat
"wah u oso veri "zhuang" hor?wear le sure mre handsome"
make dao my gf..u knw...POWER UP~!!
haha but end up nvr try nor buy...
coz a malay family tryin n they onli gt 1 rm( -_- )
saddening~
then we went NTUC buy things~
piang a mummy hor siao de lor
gt me arnd hor buy until like hor me hercules like tat..
SO MANI LOR~
then my gf buy tis eat buy tat eat
frm HAM to CLAM CHOWDER SOUP (can form) to Peanut butter~
haiz 1 is 1 shot buy all thing 1 is everything oso wan buy~( best tag lor )
lang fei ar~ haha~
so me carry total 20kg de rice and bleach worth of 5kg
damnn heavy lor siA~
saddening~
lastly we went hm de market mum mum~
eat chicken chop fish n chip halfspring chicken rice lamb chop samba prawn rice and samba sotong rice
30 stcks satay man~
ooo is like a feast sia haha
coz we for the past 2 wk only eat maggie mee nia
no money,2dae dady take pay so eat like pig ar~
haha
but frm 2molo onwards...back to magiee...
saddening~

*wanna go clubbing,
but scared me cannot handle it
too exp,too crowded,transport wise nt gd,n worse i cannot drink nor dance
haiz...some1 enlighten me plz~

sian half

2007-08-25T19:23:00.000+08:00

finally
i woke up le haiz
damn tired after friday nite
haiz i stay up late tryin to perfect my proj
in the last min i fell aslp while tryin at 5.30...
n i am a gone case le did nt manage to wake up haiz

sad then bo bian lor went to get MC if nt 1 day deduct 5 marks u knw??
sadded lor~

haiz then my farking com still cannot use msn
duno why my things oso like tis de sia haiz~

did nt get to play bball for 2wks liao...
rusty le lor haiz~
nw after the proj feel so much relieve but i knw
acess test coming and that BFD i muz score a 43 to get a "A"
hai hope i can make it~

haha

2007-08-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

haha
late nite le leh
shock to see my blog at tis timing?
haha

my NEW COM arrive le~

wahahaha
but hor saddening lor juz arrive then gt prob le
no sound
sad...
lucky that person fix abit then ok le

but nw gt a bigger problem
MY DAMN COM CANNOT USE MSN!!!
someone help me ar~
*RIBBIT!!!!

they kip sayin my firewall blocking it then i off my firewall oso cannot
i on my firewall n make exception for msn to run oso cannot
is like...
WTH lor haiz...fark up sia haiz....
someone save me PLZ~

2 more days to handing in wpd project...
i haven finish then nw zai chiong...haiz..
gona become BIG PANDA frog liao sad~
every1 jia you wor!!

sch sucks~

2007-08-17T12:35:00.000+08:00

hoho
nth much to blog 2dae
juz that yesterdae went out wif

~Jun Kock
~verona
~winnie
~angela
~jass
~my dar dar

to see "Serect"
that show start real slw sia
but the storyline damn gd
i like it haha
we all cry lor haha
1 hand "nose-shit" 1 hand "tears" lor
XD

i like the show de 1 part de 1 sentence by the ger

"chopin lost his true love..
they lasted for ten years
but it is enough le"

so touching lor
but actually i feel gt the other meaning for it lar

i mean he might have lost her after ten years
but for the forever that pple remember him
will remember her
n that no matter wat
the only photo that will be beside him is her...

and the last part
is like "hoLY MOTHER SHIT" lor
he damn impressive~
i like it haha

aniway i wanna open chalet soon
but i dun think they agree at 10/07
so i think i open at 12/07 december hao le
haha

can celebrate jane rui xian and my dar de be-lated bdae
n jing ye 1 too (earli haha)
and i gt a special plan for my gf
so i hope they all can help me haha^^

lastly FARK UP
2dae gt wpd re-test at 2.30
paper 2 hr
end at 4 plus...
haiz...
I am screwed ~-~

now a days

2007-08-16T11:47:00.000+08:00

now a days i kip pondering
y should some1 be in love

it is a werid question becoz i myself have a long term stead le
but i still ponder becoz of things happening arnd me etc...

and all that came into my mind was...
wat if 1 day your love 1 betray u n pretend not to?

wat if 1 day you say ur love 1 with another 1 outside behaving intimately?
and in your mind is..."i wasted all my youth...y..."

in a person's life, 1 of the most impt thing would be ur youth
and it will be so sad that u wasted your youth for some1 like tat

once your youth is gone it will nvr b back
together wif a broken heart which will tear ur soul apart...

wat if 1 day tears would not taste salty anymore becoz u tasted too much?
wat if 1 day ur heart pump for no reason?

i oso duno too..
in life there is so many not confirmed things and event and stiuation

but y izzit pple is still willing to go for it?
for example a relationship...

it is juz a form of verbal confirmation
and un-confirmnalbe de feeling signal??

y do we still fall for it and risk everything upon it??

pple owaes say the only un-avoidable is natural diasters
but i think it is a heart breaking relationship...

no matter how u try to hide
no matter how u try to prevent

u will still fall for it..

nth again~

2007-08-13T16:36:00.000+08:00

hohoh
nth much to do
that y update so late haha
so lets start frm thursday
8/9/07~
hahaha
IS NATIONAL DAY~
wahahaha

Thursday
8/9
went out wif jy, rx, jk, verona, jass, xl and xl's frend & harjit
went afternoon go suntec walk walk
see katek play bball haha but hor actually juz went wander abt la haha
then went marina eat steamboat at chong pang
haha but hor when wan take bus hor the pple is like~
WTH~ lor so mani pple haha but we manage squeeze in haha~
then we find table lor is like pple kip snatch tis and that table lor
hahaha but lucky la we manage get 2 table with a gd view haha~
then dao 7 plus then the firewrk start le~
jk n gang all went see lor
then i ask harjit he wan go
so i gor gor mar my dar dar~
hee
go to the field and see haah
we kissed...long...swt...breath draining (#'.'#)
haha she is hapi
and i am glad^^
then we walk back to mrt station lor~
haha but hor evon say gt sthm cling on to her when we walking past the forest
all the way dao the mrt station
scary~

Friday,Saturday
10/9 & 11/9
haha
friday after bball went to lan with harjit~
haha
play quite long lor haha
then hor he play quite well sia~
haha
then hor saturday play bball again~
haha stress lor haha injured my eyes and leg...
haiz...
walk damn pain lor somemre skin drop sia haiz~
Sunday
12/9
nth much to do lor haiz~
juz slack hm n pei jit lor haha
saw him cry though~
dun wanna say much~
coz i knw will only make him even mre sad~
so i juz kept quiet

thats all ba...~
2molo then blog again~
haha~
mai mai~

tears...

2007-08-07T15:01:00.000+08:00

juz nw my gf did sthm funny
haha

her mummy bought her 2 tortise
haha
she say her mummy saw her kip lookin at the tortise then when walk away tat time kip
looking back tat y she buy gif her haha

then she gt so excited that she kip sms me abt this then even call me frend hp...
JUZ TO TELL ME THE THING OVER AGAIN~
hahaha

aniway jy n jk thursday goin see firewrk n eat steamboat
me wanna bring my gf along (if they allow)
coz i wanna surprise her haha
coz she owaes wanted to eat steamboat...
and see firewrk is part of wat she dream of having
maybe is nt i buy n set de
nor izzit as romantic as show which the firewrk become I LOVE U

but i hope..
at least that with tis little effort
can bind us even tighter and make her hapi^^

u knw...
now a days not alot pple knw hw to be happy
at least not over such simple things u knw?
haha
coz now life to most pple is all $ $ $

haha
aniway

juz nw attended bfd lesson
after listening to wat arron tang said
felt veri meaningful

is like u knw u wun knw wat will happen 2molo
u duno wat will happen the nxt sec

Words that was suppose to be said was nt said
Memories become what is left behind without any "Jiao Dai"
Danger of Thoughts being blur and forgotten
But life without the person is something for sure......

at the instant moment seeing some1 u knw and care
on the advertisment on the newspaper for dead pple...
at the instant moment is a "...why..."

...i thought i saw arron tang de eyes tears when he said his frend pass away.....

equation for tears=
The

End

Are

Really

Sad

GAMBATEH~

2007-08-06T15:42:00.000+08:00

2dae veri sad sia...
hai...
gt back bfd de result le...
25 juz pass onli haiz
sad lor...
like this my roleplay get "A" 90 oso like no use like that lor haiz...
now hor muz reali chiong le

muz get "A" for my bfd final
muz get "A" for my ofa last test on Acess
muz get "A" or "B" for my wpd project...

i knw it sounds impossible but i reali muz...
i die die nid go poly...
i muz....
i wasted enough year le...
i wan a future for my gf n family...
i wan to DO MY DREAM JOB~!!

haiz yesterday saw the "BAO BA HAI ZHI"
cried till 1 hand tears 1 hands mucus sia...
so sad lor...
but damn meaningful...

coz we nid to fight hard for wat we wan for
no matter how hard the road is to walk...
and even after u get wat u wanted...
we cannot let our guard dwn...coz the road to the future will be even tougher~

then my mum yesterdae ask my gf...
"what do u wan to achieve in future?"
my gf duno wat to say sia haha
me oso stun for a min then i realise what i wanna do...

i dun think i nid to say out wat i wanan acheieve
i juz wanna wrk hard for it....
GAMBATEH

whew~

2007-07-30T15:32:00.000+08:00

scary sia
hahaha
juz did my role play
coz i 1st in index means i 1st in line~
die!!!! who ask me the oldest sobsob....
old man 19~=(

0.0 face lor haha
aniway lucky i use to do alot roleplay in my retails course last yr haha
still can handle...haha did nt get cassandra into big trouble^^
scored a 90 for it...so hapi...^^
but benny say i lucky coz teacher nvr see us when we role play
he say teacher was looking at the computer...
i duno if its true but watever case it is over le n i dun care le haha
happy go lucky
jumpy like a froggy^^

aniway nth much to blog todae haha
coz nt so much happening in sch leh
i mean is like nth much special to blog etc
we are juz like normal siao siao de etc nor haha~

hmm...
wanna open chalet soon le~
for my gf's bdae, together with rui xian de and jane de
but hor the date like cannot set on novemevmer
coz the new term start le
haizyoyo...
so can onli book either on the start of October or end of december~
sian diao
haha hey pple reading this post gif some idea leh~
all their birthday in on 10+ of the month...so hw??
haha

wanna go find a job
haiz coz no money le
then wan book chalet n wanna make a damn gd and happy bdae celebration for them
especially my gf...
she 1 whole yr nvr ani gd time or happy moments
me wanna make it UnFoGeTaBle for her

so ani1 if gt a gd job with gd pay n nt too far frm clementi or gombak de hua
INTRO ME!!!!!

whew~

2007-07-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

haha
have been a busi wk...
no time use com to do my blog coz in sch if gt chance use com sure is rush my OFA project...
haha
aniway so i decided to blog all tonite haha
for this wk la haha

Monday
went to cut my hair haha
cut dao to me is consider short lor haiz..
then hor gt some1 try to snatch my poutch and run sia..frm the salon
then i ran after him lor...
then i manage to grab a glass bottle n threw it on his leg
he fell dwn n u knw la hor
gana HAM DAM lor PCB!!!
but i nvr call police la....duno why too
after ham dam him the soft le...
somemre he like 14 15 nia...haha

Tuesday
Went back to sch
haha
my class mate all saw me was like stun coz i cut short hair?
haha then when walking up frm canteen pple oso kip staring
think muz be becoz my baby fats alot...look damn fat lor...SAD!!!
then hor winnie they all say i look even mre like the F.I.R de ah xin wor
where gt sia he so handsome lor me like shit lor...
somemre he long hair etc hw can be same?
haha but aniway ty la^^

Wednesday, Thursday
nth much lor haha
juz kip rushing proj lor haiz
haha then gt some tai chi in class la i dun wanna tok mre abt it lor haha
then thursday nite chiong for friday de test haha
panda panda #_#

Friday
haha complete my test haha
surprisingly...I CAN DO IT HAHA
all me study de come out haha
aniway then went Jing ye de O.O de home do my final clean up of my proj haha
then he kip nagging his sis this and tat haha
funny sia~
then play game etc lor haha
play winning 11 wif him...
damn exciting sia haha but i won in the end lor haha
by penatiles haha
4-3 haha...
bo bian me P.R.O.Fessional leh haha

me wan go slp le wahahah~
sian hohoho
my ankle damn pain ar~
*RIBBIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

my family...i am here

2007-07-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

hmmm...
now a days nt alot thing happening la...
except the sch thingy n angela thingy
project nid to hand in le lor~
muz faster rush ar~
haha
me goin the "professional" de "pro" de hse do wor~
muz zhao gor me leh haha~

a...i remember gt sthm to say le haha
yesterdae went dwn my sis sch...
she gana gang by pple whack...gana slap..n almost push dwn a spiral staircase...
then she call hm crying...me n my mum n jit n my gf rush dwn sia...
then saw my sis in the pricinpal office
then tok sia...
then the pricinpal see my mum duno english then kip try play with language in english wif my mum sia
then she say wat
"i can only try my best to do wat i can in sch daes to help ur daughter...weekends cannot do anithing"
then say
"ur daughter oso no gd until where...frm yr 1 gt tis problem till nw...but aniway nw we dun tok abt past tok abt nw ur daughter gana beaten"
i was like....wTH is...then 1 thing she say make me explode sia...
she say
"2dae is friday so i cannot handle or investigage todae...pple are leaving at 12.30 n nw is 12 le...so i cannot do much...u gif me some time investigate after we read wat they(the bullies)written then we see hw..."

i tok back sia...then she scream at me like a mad horse sia...
then command me leave sia...
i was like i nt ur student sia why muz i listen sia...
haha then i tok cock dao she lan lan n dun care me haha

aniway
it is like tryin to push the responsiblities away lor...
then they whack my sister u gona let every1 off at 12.30??
plz lor my sis ur student leh~VICTIM LEH~
na bei u going juz let them off like tat?
investigate my ASS man~..later sure try to make every1 forget de lor...

then my mum angry sia...haha
then me n my mum tag team dao the pricinpal n vice-principal KA LAN SIA~
wahaha
but my mum called in the police too..
then after disscusion the VP damn farker sia...still wanna play with language sia~
she ask n say my sis
"she did whack back them rite??"
then my sis say yes...
luck my mum smart...
she counter with..
"tian(my sis name),u whack them or is whack them back after they whack u???
lucky she ask sia...then my sis say she whack back after gana whack...
this way she become is coz self defense whack back n nt she attack 1st...
farking bitch SCH ~
they damn tai ji sia...all the way wanna push the responsibliities away in circle lor na bei

then my mum wanna take them court...
but think think as a parent she gave a chance...
she wan see the parent of all the bullies n see if they can come up with an agreement...
if not the parent of sch cannot come up with an agreement my mum going sue them n report tis to the reporters n let the sch gana...wahahah~
...haiz...i knw we no money...but is my sis leh...no matter wat we muz protect!!

then when we left the rm we walk out i saw the "bullies"
then i DIAO them all sia...like give warning
"dun mess with my sis animre or u get it!!!"ROAR!!!!
then was like they see straight away see turn head sia haha...like tis call ar lian la...
call gt chap la...call wu ji la~

then afterside the general office alot pple stare us sia...!!

then worse is went we went out then saw a bunch of the bullies de frend
then they say sthm to me
"police case ar?"
i say
"muz see my mum lor"
then they say 1 thing
"ur sis oso gt beat back leh"
i juz shoot 1 thing
"if u gana whack by some1 u wat will your do???!!"
them diam...
then 1 say...
"aiya ur sis oso xi guan(get use to it)liao la"
then i juz say 1 thing
"if she reali used to it does it mean ur can continue make her???
she quiet n blur does nt mean your can kip bully her u knw??n bloody hell who in the 1st place make her dao she used to it de???!!!"
then they diam liao....

then my sis saw this guy then she straight hide sia...
then i ask her y she hide she say that guy is the 1 who bully her for 3 yrs le...owaes de...then he gt chap bai hai de...she scared...
then i saw him diao her so i went behind her n diao bad...
then tat guy see le straight turn head sia...then 5min later walk off with his friends sia...
then i shut
"like tis call chap bai hai de ar???sure anot???"
he ran...wth!!!

hai
before we leave i said sthm to the bunch outside
"hey...if ur have a brother sister or a close peron gana bully...wat will your do??hw will ur feel??
they diam
then i say
"dun touch her again...i nt tryin to scare your or anithing but if ur stop all this...we can let it pass...
but if ur wan play "black...i oso can...ur wan play "white" i oso can...worse to worse i sue ur till ur no mre future nia...this i wat i will do for my blood kind...so...stop it!!...."

damn like ah beng sia me...haiz...but
i dun wan them to touch my family...
i dun wan ani1 to get bullied...
i wun let ani1 harm my family or close 1...i will make sure..even if it will cost me everything...

*to my little sister*
you may still nt see
you may still dun knw
you may still dun understand
you may still dun believe
but at the moment when u nid some1 for u
ur whole family is there to protect u at all cost
not ur bf...
not ur god...
it is use tat are here for you...
i hope 1 day you will open ur eyes...
n dun hurt this family animre...

i may have a hot tmeper n owaes scold u..
i may be a gd for nth brother in ur eyes
but
if 1 day anithink happen...
our blood will mit n flow as 1...
and in tis world...
onli us...our family...can be like tis......
i love you~

free~

2007-07-12T15:29:00.000+08:00

in sch..
damn bored sia...
angela went hm le...
guess she did nt like the way i or us treat her...
i dun think we gt do dao anithing lor...
she nvr tok wif us then we nvr tok or reply lor...
she tok n chat we tok back lor...
but she feel we r attiduding her...
watever ba i hack kare aniway...

haha 2dae we played bball...
gt me xl,jy,benny jane rx n jk....hahaha
damn fun sia...
haha 1st time so mani of us play..actually gt mre la but other dun wan play...haha
then hor 2dae like come sch for nth nia..haha
they watch show.play game.msn n watch movie sia hahaha...
song bo~

but i knw knw la cannot paly too much le...
test n exam coming le
i wanna past n go poly...
2dae saw my ex classmtae...
he said sthm tat hurt me yea?
he say"i wanna get GPA 4 u knw??nt like you.."
i was like thinking wtf y muz like tis say sia??
but i manage a smile ba...
haiz...
GAMBATEH~

2007-07-11T11:52:00.000+08:00

haiz
finally can blog le...
but this stupid thing cannot write title leh
duno is site gt problem or is the com gt problem...

i miz out alot of thing to blog n i dun reali wanna blog it nw coz all my frend blog it up le n i feel blog it up nw beri like out date leh haha..

juz read angela page...nth much i can say...juz feel hurt...veri hurt...
maybe i use the wrng way to express?
or rather maybe my class use the wrng way??
i duno...coz if we reali did...we wun whole class say same thing leh haiz...
i dun wan to say le...i duno my class but i had it le la...
haiz....

*i NVR ASK U TO BECOME LIKE VERONA OR JASS SO FEMINIE...I JUZ ASK U TO BE MORE CONSIDERATE...SMKING INFRONT OR US ANOT NT A BIG PROBLEM...KIP GIVING ATTIDUDE N OWAES WAN THING TO GO UR WAY N WAN PPLE TO THINK FOR UR FEELING ETC IS NT...

...yes...nt smking infront us...when eat ask us wan eat where is all thinking for our feeling...but...tis is nt wat i mean.. all this are small things...

u can beocz u angry u throw temper on us n attidude...??
u can walk out the door n slam it without thinking hw other pple feel?
u can scold pple so directly when other pple cannot do back the same???
u can becoz u dun like some1 and u expect every1 to be like u too or even juz walk out on us juz becoz the person is wif us???

i reali duno wat to say to u le...
think abt wat i say if its truth to u...dun bother wat i say if u think u did nt do

*I DUN WAN TO BE SOMEONE U SSAY THAT FORECE U TO ADMIT THINGS U NVR DO!!

they ask me if i like tis tok to u too fierce anot...
i juz told them 1 thing

*"i treat her as a frend n i wan her well that y i tell her she where wrng straight in the face...
i think tis is a way a reali gd frend will do...coz i dun wan her to make the same mistake..."

i told jit 1 thing..."

True frends shoot u straight damn in your face wat u did rite n wrng...n nt BAO RONG YOU DO WRNG...or even try to make it such tat you are rite when you are wrng juz to nt make u feel sad...if frend behave like this...we n ENEMIES gt wat different?"

if u feel that we nvr qian jiu u i gt nth to say...
if u feel u gt qian jiu us but we nvr notice i oso gt nth to say....
if u think we nt WORTH it then dun bother wat we say...
if u feel we are "WORTH IT" so u wun be loney in sch...then plz dun bother change...

we are nt there for u like ur other frend becoz u nvr find us when u gt problem...
but when u do...are we nt there??

*HAVE I EVER FAIL TO B THERE FOR U???

if you dun wan to accpet other pple de thinking n feeling..
why should pple accept wat u reali are when wat u reali are hurt so mani pple??
we accepted wat u reali are...but u de chun jing ci...
are u nt goin too far??

izzit the onli way to do things is TO BAO RONG U TO DO WRNG THINGSSS????
izzit the onli way to do things is TO ACCEPT A WRNG U WHICH U THINK IS RITE???
izzit the onli way to do things is TO BECUM WAT U COMPARE US WITH ???
izzit the onli way to do things is TO THINK FOR U WHEN U DUN THINK FOR US???
izzit the onli way to do things is TO DO THINGS ONLI IF U THINK IS RITE??
izzit the onli way to do things is TO BECOME WHAT U HOPE WE WILL BECOME BUT NT U??

i reali duno

..ya..after reading dun like wat i type..
be angry if you feel...
hate me if u must...
but i had it with everything...
coz in ur eyes...things that consider hw u feel before doing i rite...things that hurt u are wrng...

n i think...
to you...
other pple that hurt u are wrng...
things that hurt u are wrng...
i am a wrng...

goin in le...to...CHALET~XD

2007-06-23T19:43:00.000+08:00

hohoho
finally gt a com for me to blog le haha
sian sia now a days~
haiz nth to do at hm
juz kip slack play game etc~
haiz kinda lonely~
but aniway wat i have been waiting for is finally here
the 2nd time of my life since the last time
...CHALET!!!!...
a....
duno gt spell rite anot haha
but aiya who care
as long as we can go to CHALET~
WOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~
coz my family veri old type ar they dun let me stay outside etc,
nt even at harjit's hse who is juz 2 level above my hse lor haha~
so tats why i am so happy
n oso coz this is a first time tat a class i am in organise this type of thingy n
a first time that i can go...so happy haha...but is for 5 days sia~
sounds great leh~but i wori hor 5 days at chalet can do wat sia?
haha but i heard jingye n gang have plan wor~but i knw for sure is follow this equation:
jinye n gang + plans n events + chalet for 5 days = DIASTERS (spell wrng??) n MONEY~~~
DIE~haha
but i knw gona b fun
gona miz doggys(happy n doggy) my family n my gf~
haha
wanna take alot pic provided that i look nice lar after not slping enough each day haha
kkk

then hor we end at fridae rite?
or izzit at thursday??
aiya duno la haha
then me going to fetch harjit frm camp site wahahah~
gay leh but bo bian leh me fail to send him in so i gt 2 bring him out lor haha~
sound like prison sia haha~
gona die with him again~
wahahah~

kkk me gtg le
i try update my blog again if jingye gt go to lan shop like he say
if nt u gt to wait for me back hm n then get pic frm them n update my blog le haha~

sayo
bb~

helo~

2007-06-21T12:47:00.000+08:00

so long nvr blog le hahaha
duno gt pple come read anot hahaha
but aniway does nt matter aniway...
to me blog is juz a way to write out hw i feel nia haha

last fridae harjit went in army le
i did nt manage to send him go him
haiz...became 1 of my regret thought...
haiz...
i accompany him till 4 plus in the morning.
he suppose book in at 6
so i went hm bath etc
n ask him rest awhile
then me play game at hm till 5 plus...
but haiz i in the end fell aslp..
n he went in without me haiz
i promise him i will b there de but i fall to haiz..
then i msg him tell him i am sori etc n say wat i wanted to tell him when he go in
i knw i still sent my msg to him but i hate myself coz i did nt say it face to face
n gif him a tight hug ...
haiz

nw holiday le
reali damn sian and lonely
so quiet
no 1 to let me kao bei
no 1 to let me nag
no 1 pei me gao siao
no 1 pei me gay
at times i thought i heard his voice outside my door like he will owaes do
or when it is 12 noon etc he would call and say "DIE!!"
miss all this so much
haiz

he coming out nxt friday for awhile then goin book in again
me wanna pei him as much as possible too
then bring him have fun n eat sthm gd
coz i heard him inside he buay tahan etc
haha
thats y hoho
then i hope he will be hapi though haha

*to jowy
althought u cannot see this nw
but tk kr urself wor~
ty for calling me everynite at least i knw u remember me arnd for u
u coming out soon le jia you!!~

sad day counting dwn last day

2007-06-14T11:07:00.000+08:00

yoyoyo
so long nvr update blog liao lor haiz
sian sia haiz
last day count dwn to friday
2molo
15/6/07
the day m.j/jowy/harjit...
going into army haiz...duno wat to say sia
veri sad n worried...
i duno hw to past my days without him sia
maybe veri gay but it is reali lor
me knw him so long already...
14yrs le
we spend almost everydae together lor
even if is with my gf or ani friends lor....
he will be with me...
throught thicks n thin...
althought there is alot of conflict n he is such a pest sthm...
but i love him
haha....a rare best frend that seldom occurs in some1's life haha...
duno if he feel the same anot haha
THIS IS THE LOVE OF MAN~
wahahaha
haiz...
also veri wori for him...
coz he veri easy influence de
then all army guy like smoke n drink alot....
some even go for prostitution and drugs etc lor haha
hope he can tk kr n dun follow the steps n change too much~
hahaha...he sound like my stead sia gay lor hahaha~

3 days ago we took neoprint together...hope he brings it along in case anithink he can see
n remember gt us arnd to support n care for him
haha....
yesterde pei him went to pei him buy the mass weight gain-er~
haha he say he wanna train till damn fit sia like john cena sia haha
dun over train n break his bone or tear his muscle lor haha
later become worse then M.J haha~
2molo he goin in le but me nt goin to pei him go in le...
nt i dun care abt him or wat la
juz tat too earli le me dun think i can make it lor haiz...~
dun wan he ani how think haha
nth much to blog todae lor~
juz gona miz him~haha
mai mai~
*to jowy...yo brother...tk gd cr of urself,dun follow wat other pple say too much..
me nt there to think for u animre...for at least this 2 yr so u on urself le...if anithink happen u can owaes find dao me de...my hse phone...my phone or even my gf de...owaes here for u...
14 yrs of brother-ship~
gona miz u alot...
no mre gay partner~
no mre joker le...
another smile of my life gone...
for at least this 2 yr...
tk kr i love you~
mai mai~

heyo~

2007-06-10T02:22:00.000+08:00

BOO!!!
hahaha
middle of the nite do blog,
stupid sia me haha
but me nthto do nw ma then decide to do lor hehehe:p
nw at my frend hse playin dota
gana own by the A.I sia
duno y but the A.I damn power lor
i think even mre powerful then real pple lor haha
haiz
me mood starting get better abit todae
becoz was wif 2 of my best frend jit n sam
veri hapi sia wif 2 of them arnd haha
damn gao siao
but haiz
the thought of all my problems everything the "qi" come back n me change back again...hai..
somemre counting dwn 7 days to jit entry to army,
rreali gona die sia
haiz...
me gtg off le
hohoho
haiz
gd nite pple,^^

getting frm bad to worse

2007-06-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

haiz...
2dae went back to sch
W.P.D me totally dun understand sia
and duno wat to do
dun dare to ask for help coz every1 is struggling
but scared exam or test come le how
haiz...
veri fan ar
then 2dae O.F.A no book to do
haiz
me gt 70,a B for my O.F.A...veri happi
althought there is 21 A's in my class n i am nt 1 of them,but i am reali happy
coz i did not expect to get a B...i thought i would get a B...haiz...but i knw it is not gd enough...
to compete...
haiz..
2dae meh meh like beri angry wif me,
coz me nvr study or do anithing in both W.P.D and O.F.A...
haiz...
i dun think she get hw i feel
or maybe she does...
i duno...
it's not i dun wan study it is juz...
haiz...
nvrm...
the qi tat i tok be4 rite?
is getting bigger n bigger
my temper is going up.
but i am tryin to control as hard as i can nt to let it explode
i am getting mre n mre emo...
i duno why...
i wanna cry.
i feel lonely
i feel empty..
i behave like a ger sia..
haiz...
but i believe every guy gt his weak moments
and mine is nw..
all my problem are nt goin away...
instead it is getting frm bad to worse
gt no 1 to tok to
no 1 to share..
even if some1 wanna listen they dun knw hw i feel...haiz...

my gf seems to be beri cold towards me le
i feel she is sick n tired of me le
i duno wat to do too
haiz...
my best frend goin into army soon le
i duno hw to pass my free days
i gt no 1 else to jk wif me le...
haiz...
in sch cannot catch up my schwrk...
nt i dun wanna try but...
nvrm...and my result is nvr ever gd enough..for anione...
not even my parents...
haiz...
cannot pay my bill
company cheat my salary
hse electric cutting soon
reali duno wat else to do...

meh meh ask me to look on bright side lar
kip tryin lar
everything...
but...
when u are out of options...

...when u are jue wang...
...when everyone duno hw u feel...
...when no 1 not even ur family appercaite wat you do...
...when everything u tried to protect n fight for turns on you...
...when prayers are nt answered...
..when tears are all dried...

wat else can a person do?
wat else can a person hope?
wat else am i suppose to do....

*meh meh...to u i am xing fu coz i haf wat u dun haf...
but can u see...can u feel tat wat i dun haf?
if u do u will see i do nt feel the way u think i feel...*

sick niao la~

2007-06-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

na bei~
so long nvr update my blog liao no 1 tok me tagbored sia
sobsob

2 day nvr go sch liao
song bo~
hahaha
but nt i wan de la
thought i am lazy n beri tan slp but me reali dun wan dun go de lor...
is i sick niao le lar~
die~

haiz me nw having shar-ring-gan lor
haiz
which in naruto mean red eyes
which in real life means...
SORE EYES!!!

TENG TENG TENG TENG
die
haiz damn pain lor
then kip gt tears come out
then swollen
then alot of eye shit
then stick till my eyes cannot open sia
then me wake up in the middle nite cannot see or open my eyes i thought wat sia
i thought i blind or kana caught n set up like the saw movie sia
haha

haiz
dun go sch is song la
but me gt to do my nafa test alone
cannot catch up schwrk
cannot go wrk etc
haiz

die sia like tis sobsob...
my hi-card de topup card going to gana cut le
coz they not printing the top up card animre
haiz
then i dun wan kip using meh meh de phone le
veri pai seh n no sense of owning
wan sign a new line too exp
buy another type top up card no worth it haiz
duno hw la

haiz
heard frm mum hse eletric wan cut le
duno hw sia
haiz

if can zhong ma piao jiu hao haha
or i gana some rich woman bao(as if i gt the quality haha)
or find out my ah gong or whoever actually beri rich de gt alot yi chan(haha money siao siao liao)

haiz fan sia
goin to chatlet soon liao
beri sacerd
coz other then my bball team i nvr been out to a chalet alone wif frends be4...haiz
like small kid sia
then scared their habit,event etc dun match wat i like or think haha
but i hope to haf a good time
n take alot pic with them haha
haiz

*behind every smile there is a drop of tears
behind every truth there is owaes a dark serect
behind me...
is nth but a lamp of light with me under it
with nth but mist n cliff waiting...*

*to Jowy
counting dwn to the days without u
haha
but weridly
i duno hw to past my day sia hai*

want not getting,getting not wanted

2007-05-29T10:39:00.000+08:00

me juz read meh meh the blog
tat y decided to write my blog

nw lsitening to S.H.E de album
cryin
haha...
a big boy cryin~
shame shame...
haiz...
no 1 knws i think
coz i juz kip sniffing
think they thought i am juz having a flu etc

haiz
yesterdae me told angela i wanted a new phone,coz my hp reali spoil till cannot use le
n then me dun wan kip using sthm i borrow from some1
coz say till end is pple de
i dun wan later spoil or own pple too much ren qin
then i told her i wanted a psp too
coz most of the time i am alone,with psp i can listen mre song the n my mp3 and can play game or watch vedio
but i say its too expensive n haiz...

at 1st she say a long msg till like i duno my own hse n family de enviroment,
sthm like i no money still wan so mani thing etc,dun b like a little boy
i feel hurt
but i think she is juz being straight forward
so i am ok with it
i tried explaining then...

then she reply me 1 think
"u hinting want me buy for u huh?u think my dad wat?print money de ar?"
i was like...WTH~
am i this type pple?
i knw maybe she nt good with expressing herself
but tis too li pu le
it cuts deep u knw?coz she is a impt frend too
i feel insulted...reali do...

haiz
am i the type of xiao ren tat like this hint pple to buy for me?
am i this type of pple tat bo que ren jia de tong qin to my own advantage?
am i so low class?
am i tis type of pple in ur mind n eyes?
haiz

i maybe a poor man
but i gt my pride
my honour
n a rich heart in me

i knw i cannot get all this item tat i wan
n i nvr thought of asking my parent to buy too
MOST IMPTLY I NVR THOUGHT OF ASKING ANIONE TO BUY IT FOR ME!!!
it is juz a fantasy for me

i tell pple wat i wan n hw i feel is juz to make myself feel better
coz i knw wat i wan i wun get
wat i dun wan i owaes get
so sayin out is a way i relive myself
but...
gana mistake...
haiz

like i expected no 1 reali knw me

this morning i went sch later 10min as usual
then angela say me was chlidish etc
i was like
wth again wat i do?
y u scold me?

u late u dun say anithing
or even if u nvr late u think me wun late meh?

y pple owaes like to compare me with others?
with themself when they are better?

y pple dun compare me when i am better etc?

i muz i face all this type of thing???

u wan knw y i cannot slp?
u wan knw y i am owaes late?
u wan knw hw i feel?

at nite
i cannot slp
i cry becoz of my past
i stress up becoz of all the stress tat i am having
i think abt wats gona happen to my family
i think wat if 1 day the room is gone?
my family all groaning in pain?
i think wat if i fail my studies my future hw?
my parents hw?

do u knw all this?
so wat is a guy cry?
so wat if a guy break dwn?
izzit a sign of weakness?
a un-man guy???

to me no...
a guy tat dare to cry at then is a real man,coz he is true abt his feeling n dare to express
a guy tat hide his tears n pretend to b strong is some1 fake

n btw..is nt i nvr say...i nvr open up
is when i open up...
no 1 pay attention to it
no 1 TRUELY CARE
no 1 reali try to knw it frm my angle
but pple will juz shoot their own personal comment
pple will compare me

want not getting
getting not wanted,

knwing is sthm
understanding is sth,

care n showing is 1 thing
feel wat i feel is sthm tat pple will nvr b able to do...

2007-05-28T10:54:00.000+08:00

.it does not matter how much breathe i take in..it is the moment with u which takes my breathe away tat count

nth seems diff

2007-05-25T09:16:00.000+08:00

...
nth seems to be different be4
everyone still see me as what they think i am
with smile with joy with crap with junks
...

dun think they knw i am nt wat i am though
n i dun hope they knw it only when i blog it on
n i blog it in nt coz i wan pple to knw or care
juz tat i feel like saying out thats all

...haiz...

me starting to fall deeper le
i starting to haf migrain
i starting to haf sore thorat
i start to have pain in my eyes
i starting to cannot slp at nite
i start having nitemare of what will happen when i change

...haiz...
duno lar haiz...

my best frend goin in army le
to b frank i am quite lost too
i mean we knw each other 14 years
spend almost everydae todae like bf gf.(haha)
been through alot though
althought most of the time he is a stuborn
cannot tok sense into him
troublesome fella
who owaes dun listen to my advice n regret when things happen(u knw ar jit HBK SOMERE LA)
a big baby who duno wats rite n wrng
who owaes let his emotion control him
...
but i love him

gona miz him like siao when he is in sia
haha
duno who going to take care of him
think for him
give him right advice
right thinking
n help him make right decision when i am nt arnd
...*sobsob*

sia la i sound so gay sia
he read liao sure say
"like tat lar alpha,u type me like tis la,u wan pple think me n u gay rite??!"
haha
haiz.
me nw in my dwn term
althought he dun reali get hw i feel
but his jokes does sometime hit the spot n make me feel better

dude~
take care yea?
when i am nt arnd u muz becareful ar
anithink u can owaes find me yea?
tk Kr

no 1 knws

2007-05-22T09:22:00.001+08:00

haiz
no 1 knws hw i feel
no 1 knw hw i wanna feel

haiz
i duno why but now a days i am changing
i am becoming some1 who i am not
my temper is getting from bad to worse

haiz
11/05
on my bdae i jio meng some1 for staring at my gf for a long time

14/05
3 days later i slap some1 in the face coz he was making so much noise infront of me
IT IS JUZ SO IRRITATING!!HE IS JUZ SO BLOODY IRRITATING!!!!

18/05
1 wk after that i bang some1's head on the arcade machine coz when he is playin the table hockey in the arcade his hockey plate hit me thrice despite my stare at him

20/05
2 days later i whack up a guy in the mrt coz he kept stepping on my shoes with his leg like gana possess like tat n laughing like a hyena

haiz
i reali duno hw long i can control
i reali duno

my family thinks i treat the home like a hotel
the ger i love dun think i love her
pple dun think i treat them with real care n concern
EVERYONE SUSPECT HW I FEEL!!

why izzit owaes like this?
they onli care abt hw they feel
but y muz i owaes care abt hw they feel??
selfish!! UR ALL ARE JUZ SO SELFISH!!!

UR ONLY knw ur gt problem
ur onli think that u stress up
ur onli think that onli ur heartbroken
ur onli think that no 1 is there for u
ur onli think that pple dun care hw u feel
ur onli think that pple dun reali care n love u like they do

AND BECOZ UR THINK THIS WAY
UR CAN DO WATEVER U WAN
FEEL WATEVER U FEEL
CRY WATEVER U WAN
BLAME EVERYONE U WAN

when ur are dwn on sad ur have everyrite to do and man yuan everything u wan
wat abt me?
y muz i owaes to be there when ur nid some1?
y muz i be there when ur nid a shoulder?
y muz i be there when ur nid help?
y did i think ur treat me like a real frend?
or did ur reali treat me like a real frend?
izzit coz juz becoz ur are tryin to ying chuo me?
izzit coz i am juz a joker that everyone so call "accept" me?
i am not goin to the mr nice guy animre
no mre...NO MRE!!!

i HAD it...i reali do...
i wanna cry...
i dun care if guys should nt cry
coz if u were me
and u experience hw i feel
tell me u wun cry...

i am stress up with money
i am stress up with un-cope-able sch work
i am stress up with my family problem
i am stress up with pple arnd me
i am stress up wif frends

i reali duno wat to do
should i give up tryin to control and become some1 i nvr become or revealed to some1 be4??

i veri xin ku ar
it is like there is this qi in the middle of my chest
it juz wun budge

it is so hard to breathe
it is so hard to move
it is so hard to think
it is so hard to feel
it is so hard....to continue...

forget

2007-05-16T09:00:00.000+08:00

haha
forget to blog this yesterdae..
so i think i will blog this for 2dae 1st haha

yesterdae went to the sch resturant ..
name AMBER WEST~
haha
the atmosphere not bad la...
waiter n waitresses not bad...
charge 10 dollar for starter,main course n desert
haha
cheapskate us...(winnie,angela,rui xian n jane)
hehehe

but aniway tat dae de food damn nice lor...
they were serving lamb with potatoes n vege
n oso salmon wif prawn
haha
then me n mehmeh order 1 each
u wan knw y i onli mention meh meh?
coz winnie n grp make me n her sit alone u knw?
sobsob...so pai seh lor haha
but i knw la coz left 2 table for 4 in the shop so muz split up lor sobsob
haha
the me n meh meh was like playin all the way lor...
she laugh till cry sia...
power leh me haha

then i wanted to take picture n post here 1 u knw?
then meh meh dun wan lend me phone take sobsob...
then my phone de camera not gd tat y nvr take...
the dishes reali veri nice lor...
haha me seldom eat such appealing de mum mum u knw?
HMPH

y huh??

2007-05-15T15:25:00.000+08:00

sia la..
now a days de pple beri wat de sia
go pple de blog..
anihw write a name
then gif all type of lame comment sia.
haiz
y pple like tis?
but i knw la
write blog and pple will comment on it...
but insulting some1 is nt sthm he/she should do lor
haiz
y sia...
fark up

2dae nt much happening...
juz beri tired onli..
dun anihw think...
me nvr do anithink last nite noti noti wor hehe
juz tat pei me frend chat till beri late haiz

haha
2molo wednesday le hehe
can end earli
haiz
nth much liao...
go slack le..
mai mai

hey!!

2007-05-14T13:47:00.000+08:00

hay
gt pple remember my bdae leh haha
tat dae on my bdae winnie jane rui xian verona jass n meh meh bought me a present to surprise me
haha
they put it in my bag for a beri long time le n each time i did notnotice it haha
then when i finally saw it i still thought was who mis place it in my bag coz in sch gt some pple same bag as me haha
then they scold me gong
haha
they share money and bought me 1 pierre cardin de wallet(have alot of card holder which i end up filling them wif name cards instead haha)...i think meh meh notice my wallet spoil le
then gt 1 pair of earring
1 headset
and 1 $30 dollar top up card
all bought by meh meh alone sia
i told her once onli too u knw?
sobsob...so touch u knw??i think they spend over hundred over for me
sobsob...ty guys so much
*to meh meh...TY!!!!~~~
hehe*

then after tat went out eat sakae wif jit n my gf..
almost fight wif a guy as he kip staring at my gf
then when i scold him he like ran off lor
haha think me reali mre n mre like beng diao

at ntie jit kry.
i lend him my arm n shoulder n gif him a hug
haiz i dun wan say much abt tat
other then the next dae he told me sthm i damn wan whack him
he told me this
"a alpha,u knw hor...ur arm n shoulder veri nice to lean on n tat ur hug beri nice leh"
then i say wah piang a,gay sia u,but every1 tat hug me be4 say so..then he say..
"seriously lor..ur armn so big n ur shoulder so broad,veri nice to lean lor"
then i say like tat la ~ jit..like this not gay leh..u dun sad till gay leh..i dun like ur ass..then he say
"nxt time let me hug n lean some mre leh"
i say...can....after i whack u till u paralys lor
haha farker rite him?
PCB earli in the morning on his bdae tell me tis type thing(his bdae 1 day later then me,12/5/88)
fark him sia
*to jit...hey bro i love u yea?i owaes here for u when u nid me...BUT NOT GAY PCB DIE~*
haha

hapi birthdae to me

2007-05-11T09:26:00.000+08:00

hapi birthday to me...
hapi birthday to me...
hapi birthday to me~
hapi birthday to me....

toade is my bdae...
but i feel like cryin...
haiz...
duno why..
this morning gt a total of five frend tat say hapi birthdae to me by sms
but i am nt hapi...
coz the five of them onli gt 1 remember my bdae truely but the other 4 is gana told that 1 person then knw de...
haiz
meh meh say better then nth...
but i say they like tat bo xim...
haf like dun haf haiz..

this morning my dad beri nice..
nvr shout at me till i wake up
kip gentlely call me wake up
i am hapi coz nt nosiy
but i knw is onli coz is my bdae then he like tis
n most imptly when i was slpin
i kip hearing him cough
haiz....
i am so unless...cannot help the family n him etc...
haiz...

today after sch was suppoes to go out de...
but no money...
no pay...
my gf say nvrm...ask me go out...say she gt money
but i dun wan...coz she nid tat money to support herself through the month
and i dun wan she waste money on me
we argued
then i shut my hp n hang my house phone so she cannot find me
then jit came dwn n tok to me etc
say my gf ask him tok to me
i scolded him n ask him go home
he ask me 2molo(which is 2dae) go out
say he treat me
i say no
coz i knw he nid the money n he goin army
tat little army money wun b enough for him
haiz
n i dun wan him waste money on me too

coz i knw...on my bdae bad things happens
the ger i used to love the most break up our 2 yr realation on my bdae
failed 1 of my impt exam on my bdae
quarrel wif my parent till i leave the house on my bdae
plans that was set for my bdae nvr happen
fight wif pple on my bdae...

*pple say it is juz a bdae
y so wrk up
y so sad
y bother so much?
then i will wan ask them read the paragrapgh below n think if they have all this problem,will they mind so much anot....*

haiz...
i reali duno y but it is sickening
no 1 truely remember my bdae
bad things happen
plan for bdae fail
EVERY YEAR!!! FOR 18 + tis yr = 19 YEARS
FARK UP LIFE
FARK UP FAMILY PROBLEM
FARK UP BDAE!!!
FARK UP ME!!!

*would u mind abt ur bdae nw?the onli day u owaes hope pple remember u n gif u some happy memories...but they dun?hw would u feel??*

*to those little amount of true frend tat remember my bdae
ty so much pple
i love u all so much
haiz
i am sori if i attidude ur but i truely apperciate wat ur try to do
n ty for remembering my bdae
althought there is no other frends of mine that remember my bdae
but with that little amount of u
it is way mre better then the big lots
ty....*

*to my famiy...thought they are nt reading...i
i love you all so much
i am sori for not able to help
nor express the love n care i haf for th family
but i reali do
u all are owaes there for me
even on my bdae
althought it is juz a little celebration at home wif a little cake
the five of us surrounding it
i apperciate it...
sobsob...reali do...
..juz like wat happen when i am a little boy...
..although the memories is so old n faded...
..i love you all ty...

haiz

2007-05-10T14:50:00.001+08:00

haiz 2dae alot thing happen
mood damn not gd
haiz
then argue wif angela
alot thing to fight over
then jit told her he onli like her as a frend
but lata he confess he dun
haiz
he find that tis way is not sincere
haiz
duno la
maybe my mouth too wat le la haiz
then haiz dun wan say la

2dae haf p.e.
haha
ran 2.4km
gt a timing of 7.56 haha
nt bad leh
then rest awhile le went alone play bball
they did not follow coz either they prefer badminton or wanna rest haha
then hor me play till haf way gt a group of gers came n sit over

haha
werid lor
then kip say shuai shuai
then i like wth lor
my hair so messy sweat so much
like tis GT SHUAI LA~
GT LAR~
...
man tuo wu shui
me knw my own stand la me nt shuai at all
therefore they muz be looking at others gus or they muz all be blind
haha

haiz
the rest dun wan say le
2dae mood still nt gd
but tryin to put up ahapi n siao me for my frends^^
hahaha
hahaha~

...fark up...

2007-05-09T09:10:00.000+08:00

fark up la

haiz

yesterdae my frend almost did sthm wrng
and her frend was a damn farker sia
pple dun wan still force pple do thing they dun wan
wtf lor
and somemre is a younger then her bugger~
gan ni na bei
dun mess arnd mess wif my frends n pple tat i care
i was so farking angry then i almost went dwn and whack him sia
farker
then i scold her etc
remind her of wat she promise herself etc
talk alot etc

i was fierce i admit
but nt the fierce that i would always get when i reali angry
and i meant well

n

i juz dun like pple to mess wif my close frend or pple i care
i hate it
n worse come to worse he piss me off when i am already in a bad mood due to
...nth to eat....was hungry....haha

haiz

yesterdae found out the pay that i wrk on april cannot get on may
can onli get on june..is like wtf lor
haiz..like tis hw i survive?
hw i pay my bill?
hw i celebrate my bdae?
haiz i hate it

I HATE THINGS ALWAYS GO WRNG WHEN I PLAN IT PROPERLY
I HATE IT WHEN THINGS ALWAYS GO WRNG ON DAYS THAT ARE IMPT TO ME!!

haiz
then yesterdae stay dwnstair and chat wif my frend until 2
chat alot abt pple
our past etc
haiz
had fun,
but bad memories fly back too
haiz

..almost..

2007-05-08T15:49:00.000+08:00

2dae at sch nthing much la
juz tat she almost did it
haha
meh meh ar dun let wat pple say affect u ar
especially when u nt at fault ar

haiz
2ade meh mehALMOST wan to leave sch
or maybe quit too
then was like i had to went all the way to bus-stop to console n tok sense to her
with the care n concern by winnie n group n lucky my skill with girls are good
haha
manage to convince her back to sch n feel ok
haha
i duno if she is acting but she manage to reali ignore the presence of them

haha

haiz

y muz a class end up like tis?
althought i duno the stiuation well but i hope it wun have to go till tis type extent
of making fun or taking bad abt each other
we nid to get along for 2yrs leh
y muz like tis sia?

haiz
i duno who is sayin the truth but i trust it is juz a misunderstanding
coz language this type of thing there is no definate proof unless recoreded dwn or heard in person

haiz

i dun wan my tis class end up like last yr de class like tat
like water which is splash all over the floor
unable to unite or group
puddling all over

haiz

my bdae coming le
my close frends tat i knw since quite long ago like dun remember
pple dun reali mention much
other then harjit,meh meh and some of my classmate remember
i duno if other pple still remember my bdae if i did not tell them or mention

haiz

haha but who cares
no 1 ever remember my bdae for so long le
long time ago xi guan le lor
i think i already master the art of life
and that is ...being...
...numb....
tis way it makes life easier for me to pass

treating pple good does not mean they will sure treat you good back
even if they does treat u good it might nt b real or lasting
treating pple bad pple sure get back to you
but nt treating pple bad does not mean they wont b bad to u

betray

2007-05-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

So long nvr write blog liao haha
2dae mood nt so gd too
haha
then went to imm n eat wif meh meh winnie jane ruixian and aiya
ALMOST THE WHOLE CLASS
haha
then we were suppose to eat at different places,
but hor we end up eating together at Burger King
haha
we like 1 whole gang sia.then nosiy unTIL~
haha
then nw having a sudden test in class of my BFD(business fundemental)
then it is like the whole class ownself declare OPEN BOOK TEST!!
haha
then teacher say wat gt pple say teacher bad thing including vulgar on blog,then gana catch
n u knw y?
coz the frend of tat person betray him/her then gt that person expel sia
is like wth lor
why did tat person's frend do it sia?
did he/she knw that it will get the person in2 big trouble?
and y does the sch go like tat sia
it that person blog they gt their own right to do or say wat they want wat
nt as if as we r posting vedio on youtube or wat lor
somemre i dun think the person gt mention the teacher name sia
wth lor
haiz that is the type of frend tat sucks,
betrayeral!!
duno hw to say...is becoz tis type pple tat pple in this world think there is nth call frend etc~

...it takes a long time and courage to gain trust
but juz 1 sentece or action to destory it...

***the person that betray ur frend i hope u read this
u betray some1 for some reason
but watever that reason is
u will be account for ur own action
u gt ur frend into trouble
but u gt urself in2 a world whereby u have some1 less to care
some1 less to b there for u
some1 less to share everything wif u
but u gt something mre
u gt mre sadness,lonelyness and emptyniess
enjoy it***

haiz

2007-05-03T09:02:00.000+08:00

..haiz nw having lesseon in class...
in a really bad mood
yesterday argue with my best frend
went hm listen to parents' woes
exam coming
debts increasing
in need of more money
aiya duno why la so fark up sia haiz
i this morning diao alot of my frend n my face have no expression
is like they offended me or sthm like tat,
haiz
but i dun mean it coz i myself duno y
when my emotion come it would be veri extreme
veri sad,veri angry veri watever
duno why i am like tat sia
haiz
hope they dun think tat i am being dao or wat
i juz dwn
sick n tired of everything
sick of pple,sick of social,sick of life,sick of expactation
haiz

family problem

2007-04-30T14:09:00.000+08:00

haiz sad lor
nw still duno hw to help my family
haiz
then heard frm mum they wan us to move out n sell our hse by the nxt 3mths
haiz
still gt time
but duno if can make it anot
gt some stupid ideas and plans in my mind,but i duno should i do it anot
i knw it is wrng,and tat it should not be done,
but i reali duno wat to do haiz
and to u my gd frend
u dun nid to take up the offer tat he is offering to u,
it wun do u ani gd,instead it mite harm u
and he mite nt do tis part of the offer,
so plz think carefully before u do it
if u nid help,a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on
i am here to help u
so plz think carefully
...dun be like me...

...Having time to choose is nt the worse part of life,
having no time to make ur choice is the worse of all time
choosing to do sthm wrng to solve your problem is nt the rite way to do things even if there is no other way
but being brave to do the rite thing even thought it is a tough path to solve ur problem is the rite thing...

morning~

2007-04-27T09:07:00.000+08:00

yawn
earli in the morning 8 o clock
wake up go sch sia
haha...tired ars...sian oso...haiz
lucky 2dae end earli coz teacher no come,if not lata i after sch nid pei frend
go doby gauht buy phunk items haha
then after tat gtg for basketball training
haiz...
mum yesterdae ask me 1 question
"if we muz sell the house hw?"
hear liao i stun..duno wat to answer her sia..haiz..
coz my mum cannot pay the house mthly payment then the HDB wan take back the home le
haiz..thought they promise to help fellow singaporean?thought MP suppose to be pple's voice to government?to by the person to request aid for us?
then y izzit when we nid help they reject our calling?if not require so much information abt our family?wherether my relative all wrkin la,family gt ani person dwn wif watever sickness la,
hw mani children studyin la,hw much left total in bank etc la
y nid all this sia?dun trust us?or tey wan come up wif excuses to reject us again?
haiz...
she ask me for help.for opinoin,but i cannot do anithing or say anithing...
i feel so unless..as the eldest son ...i cannot do anithink...as a man too...haiz
...althought i n her owaes quarrel but she is my mum,my family...they r impt to me...
..haiz...sometime i wonder...if they the government...gt family?n if they were the 1 to suffer like us nw...would they do the same?or will they juz lay there n die?

losing some1 tat u love is painful
losing somewhere u call hm is call lonely n emptyness....

2007-04-26T16:41:00.000+08:00

wah seh~
2ade hor 1st time in sch sweat so much with this class sia haha~
but the bad thing is i nvr bring pe haha...but i could not resist basketball haha
so i 2gether wif katek,angela,winnie,melvin,benny,xuelin etc went onto the court and play.
but when we abt to go off a group of guy challenge us,so me team up wif xuelin,katek and benny play
we bring along 2 ger sia then they still so rough,haha,so me play till veri serious
1st time play game wif my classmate,haha...but enjoyed it alot lar
though they(the group of guys)whack me in the stomach when playin.
haha~
dun mess wif me
i am the king of frogs~
haha~

candy jar

2007-04-25T09:43:00.000+08:00

luv is like candy...
our heart is the jar ...
in the candy jar...
it contain us..and our mermories, our swt dream, our warmth luv, our sourness... our bitterness...
which i rather stay arnd to taste.. but nw it is too late...
i haf already lose the will to struggle animore...
the candy jar slwly open.. slwly releasing.. all the taste which i kanot bear to leave... now...
all that is leaft behind r sourness n saltyness...as slwly... all the swtness...r slwly melted by my droplets..of..
...tears...
..away..

...for all the lovers which r sad....

lonely nite

2007-04-25T09:35:00.000+08:00

...everynite i see into the sky... ...i see the moon n the sky...
...but where r the stars that is suppose to be wif the moon?
...the city r so bright n beautiful...
...but without ani1 to admire it it is juz another lonely nite...
...when the lonely city get lonely again...
...and when the tight gripped hand is slwly being release...
...i look once more at the face that i used to luv and say gdbye...
...stay...stay...the tears would stay...
...coz the luv would not stay...

^^

2007-04-25T09:28:00.000+08:00

....haha so happy tis is the 1st blog page that i am writing on other then frendster de...hahaha....haiz...coz me duno hw to do tis blog thingy ar~haha...then lucky gt angela!!~ help me do,ty so much~haha....so sian lor at sch nth do haha...duno wat to type too sia haha...hmmm....later me goin upload my blog frm frendster in2 here haha...coz hor write there no pple see de lor sad=(haha.....

heartbroken?

2006-12-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

..haiz...alone again??miz some1??hope some1 would return??or r u juz unsatisfy??
...y am i sayin all tis??becoz that is wat always happen when pple break up or loses some1...dun u agree?? be4 they fall in luv wif a person,they r so keen to knw the person...feel so curious abt that person...wanting to know more abt that person...then slowly it develope the concept of "love"...but izzit reali "love"...or is it juz curiosorsity n seduction??i dun refer tis to all pple...but mostly pple are...y??

like i say in my previous journal...they seek...yet destory... when a person finally get to fall in luv wif the person they r intrested in...they r soo hapi..sooo swt...but it dun last long...slwly it would turn bitter...y??becoz the person already knw everything abt the other half,explored every part of the other half's mind,soul,body...n think that there is nothin else to knw n explore..therefore losing intrest in it...juz like a sciencetist...when they find something new...they r so eager to knw more abt it,researching it soooo badly...but once they knw abt that thing...that thing is being dump to the back...juz like a steping stone for him or her to move forward n find more new things to research...n human is juz like that...they would nvr be satisfy wif wat they haf...n always feel that wat they dun haf r always gd..therefore they always leave the person which they so kall luv behind...y??y muz pple always think that wat they dun haf r gd n wat they haf r bad??y??dun they realise it is always the old item which kare more 4 them??dun they knw tat the old item which u r used to n be together wif be4 r always the best??

y... y izzit that luv always loses to time??loses to seduction??loses to curiousorsity??lose to the man itself??y kan't pple cherish wat they haf n dun ask 4 more??y...maybe it is wat human r meant to do ba...spred wat they haf arnd...n demand 4 more...haiz... be4 love...luv in like candy...so much to choose from...therfore u juz anihw take 1...o...yes...it taste swt...but the swtness is nvr enough...u would wanna try other swt u nvr taste b4....some pple may juz dump the current swt n find another 1...but there is worse...n it is those that hope to keep the current swtness n find other exotic swtness...but thet dun knw...that in a mouth...onli a swtness is allow...f there is more..chaos would occur...n that the old swtness would always be cover by the new 1... to me...luv is juz like a candy in ur mouth...when u 1st eat it...it is swt,tasty,n soothes ur thorat...but as time passes...u would soon find that the swt is nothing special...

n that it is rather mouldy n bitter...therefore dumping it...nvr realising hw much swtness that the swt had bring to him/her...nvr realising that hw much the swt had scaracfice 4 the person juz to continue bringing the swtness to him/her...n slwly the swt would last swt 4 awhile...struggling to continue...but when realising that it is impossible ton continue so stay arnd...they leave...n the remaining of it is nothin but juz a pool of water...becoz the swtness...has slwly been devour by it's own tears...skinning every drop of swtness off the swt...as the swt had lose it meaning to live..which is to bring swtness n happiness to the person that it is fed to... pple out there that read tis..plz...cherish the swt that u already haf...dun waste it...yes...there r other new swt arnd..which may taste better then tis 1 nw...but hw mani kan u change??

everydae there would be lots of new swt...hw long kan u change??dun wait till the dae u no longer haf ani teeth to find new swt to eat then start to miz the old swt n regret...yes...new swt r tasty...new...special...but the taste of new swtness is nvr able to be compare wif a familiar swtness which accompany u through lots of event in life... 1 dae..when u die...n unable to eat the swt that haf accompany u 4 a long time...dun wori...nor regret...becoz the swt haf already embark it's swtness in...u...n juz 4 u...till the dae u die....